Getting Real About Being Real

Getting Real About Being Real

In order to lead others, we must first lead ourselves.  We all have an innate desire to be the best versions of ourselves, and yet don’t you fall short from time to time?  We have good intentions as we strive to make the best of our days and lives, yet the response of others isn’t always what we’d expected.  Enter in discouragement, frustration, withholding and possibly depression.

The ability to be authentic involves courage, vulnerability, forgiveness, and compassion.  These virtues are at the forefront of having and keeping relationships to both ourselves and others authentic and real.  We have hidden meaning making mechanisms that fill our subconscious and prevent us from being authentic.  They creep in when we least expect them, and not only are they invisible to us, they are in plain sight for others.  People can sniff out in-authenticity an instant a guard goes up to protect and be safe.  So now we have a receiver that is only partially open and willing to be shaped.

It takes a level of courage to call one out on ourselves.  What I mean by this is that if we really take a look at how we’re being in certain situations, there’s a perpetual pretending that is happening.  We show up kind and good-hearted, but underneath our positive persona is a life full of situations that have us feeling powerless, resigned, deflated and somewhat hopeless.  After all, haven’t you been trying to make your life whole and complete for a while?  The need for a deeply connected relationship, a career that is fulfilling and feeds your soul, a body that you’re proud to show off and a level of intelligence that contributes to the goals you’re striving for.  All of life’s demands keep us running on a tank of” if only’s” and “what ifs.”  It’s exhausting.

So, how do we become truly authentic?

I assert that the ability to be authentic is directly paired to our physiology.

We hold in-authenticities in our bodies.  They show up as disease such as headaches, muscle tension, chronic issues, stomach aches, etc.  and it’s when we shed emotional discord in our lives that our bodies give us feedback that we’re on the right track.  I like to call it “Living in our Truth.”  Truth speaks to us in whispers at first, then the voice becomes louder as we steer further and further from what our soul desires.  Being authentic means tapping in and asking for awareness about the things that seemingly gnaw at us in our everyday lives.  What do you truly care about?  What isn’t working as well as you’d like it to?  It takes courage, yes?  The courage to be vulnerable and to be authentic in those moments of questioning; to forgive ourselves and others and to have compassion for what is buried beneath the armor and inbred in the heart.  It’s the realness of being real.

How do we let awareness be the driver of our transformation?  By being still and listening, we can choose to have conversations to get things complete.  We can cry when we feel tears dwelling.  We can laugh harder and dance without abandon.  We can surrender and let our guard down.  It is a practice and a commitment to ourselves that has us be real and then authentic.  Self -love is the key to freedom and it starts by setting time aside to be with the one we should love the most; ourselves.  Be led by you.


My process of mindfulness incorporates the importance of taking the time to rewire the brain and considers physiology rather than simply repeating a mantra or telling someone to change their mindset using their mind. Rather than another cognitive approach to shifting mindset for increased productivity and results, my coaching and facilitating is experiential in nature, allowing for sustainable shifts,  or a brain first methodology.